捉迷藏 by 戴敏非

I just confirmed that I'm a big walking contradiction.. I'm not how old I look, n I'm not behaving how I look.. How bad is that?? See below conversation..

Below is meant to be in chinese....
Hails down a taxi at Jurong East.. (I missed the bus.. wat else..)
Me: Erm.. Jalan Buroh..
*Fastens seatbelt.. Sensing uncle a bit confused..*
Me: Err.. Caltex.. Jalan Buroh arhh.. Not Jurong Port..
*Uncle even more confused..*
Cabbie: Jalan Buroh got Caltex oil station meh??
Me: Got..

*proceeds to give directions.. Uncle still dunno where..*
Cabbie: The oil station is going Jurong there arh??
Me: No No.. Its near Pandan, near the reservoir..
Cabbie: Ok Ok.. (I noe he still dunno where..)
Cabbie: U working in Caltex arh??
Me: Yaa.. Office arh..
Cabbie: Ohh.. The office in the oil station lah..
Me: Arhh.. (Lazy to explain the difference.. He'll noe when he reaches..)
Cabbie: The oil station private owned??
Me: Huh?? (Brain still not working.. Cannot interpret private owned = CORO stations)
Cabbie: Private owned lahh.. Now still got anot??
Me: Ohh.. Yaa.. a few..
Cabbie: Good hor.. Do oil station earn a lot..
Me: Arhh.. Ok lah.. (I dunno their earnings mahh..)
Cabbie: Heard they got quota to hit one..
Me: Got meh?? Dunno lehh.. (I really dunno abt this..)

*Uncle changes topic..*
Cabbie: I thot u going poly or uni...
Me: No lahh..
Cabbie: B'cos u look like a student mahh.. So young like dat.. Just grad??
Me: No lahh.. Grad 3 yrs already.. From poly..
Cabbie: Ohh.. U look young lehh..
Me: Err.. ARhh.. Yaa.. (I was wearing a white poly tee, jeans n my red converses)
Cabbie: U grad from poly 3 yrs liao... Means u jus take ur key lah??
Me: Arhh.. Last yr.. NO NO!! The yr before.. (Took me a while to realise wat the key means)
Cabbie: Ehh? I thot u jus grad not long ago?? U get into poly overage arh?
Me: No arh..
Cabbie: O levels 16..
Me: Ya lah.. Get into poly 17.. 3 yrs down..
Cabbie: 17.. 18.. 19..

*Finally he's convinced..*
Cabbie: Married anot?
Me: No LAH!
Cabbie: Still young lah hor.. Now pak-tohing lah..
Me: No.....
Cabbie: No boyfriend meh??
Me: Dun have..
Cabbie: In sch got lah..
Me: No lehhh...
Cabbie: Ohh.. so studies 1st lah...
Me: No lah.. Lazy.. No time..
Cabbie: Scared??
Me: Scare wat?
Cabbie: Guys lo..
Me: Huh? For wat?? Aiya not prepared dat time mah.. Jus enjoy life lo..
Cabbie: Thot most ppl have stead in sch one..
Me: Arhh.. ok lah.. no time lah..
Cabbie: Office dun have??
Me: Office all old uncles...
Cabbie: A lot of Malaysian drivers hor?
Me: Err.. ya..
Cabbie: Dun have??? Not interested in Malaysians?
Me: No arh..
Cabbie: Later have to go Malaysia n stay noe..
Me: My mum's a Malaysian wat..
Cabbie: Ohh.. So u prefer foreigners or locals??
Me: Arh?? Err.. See how lo..
Cabbie: Ya lo.. Let nature take its course..
Me: Ya..

*After a short distance.. he toks again..*
Cabbie: Wahh u very quiet hor.. I ask 1 qn u answer 1 answer.. Nvr initiate one..
Me: Arhh.. yaa.. (Wat else do u want me to say!?!!)
Cabbie: Very guai lehh..
Me: Arhh.. ok lahh.. I dun look guai thou..
Cabbie: Ok wat.. Got ppl say u not guai mehh..
Me: Got.. My hair dye until like dat..
Cabbie: Fashion mahh..

*He focuses his mirror on my hair..*
Cabbie: Ya lo.. Your hair look like u always go disco, pubs like dat..
Me: Haha..
Cabbie: Do you go disco, pubs??
Me: No lah.. too noisy..
Cabbie: Good lehh.. So u dun smoke n drink oso?
Me: No..
Cabbie: Work in oil station smoke very jialat hor??
Me: Ok lahh.. Outside the office still can smoke.. Jus dun go into the terminal or oil station lah..

*Uncle change topic again*
Cabbie: U not thinking of not marrying hor?
Me: Arh?? No lah..
Cabbie: Got ppl tackle u before lah??
Me: Arh.. Ya..
Cabbie: Bcos some ppl go stead liao then got sick of it.. so they dun wanna marry liao.. So u dun have experience lah???
Me: Ya.. But heard a lot..
Cabbie: I see u like dat so guai.. must be work liao go straight home kind one lah?
Me: Work.. Sch... Home..
Cabbie: Still schooling?? In wat?
Me: Arhh.. Business one lah.. SIM..
Cabbie: Uni lah.. School got guys wat..
Me: Still dunno them well yet..
Cabbie: Ohh.. so jus started lah..
Me: Ya..
Cabbie: No wonder u say no time..
Me: Ya lo..
Cabbie: Most ppl ur age r pak-tohing liao..
Me: Arh.. Ok lah..
Cabbie: Normal mahh..
Me: Ya lah.. I adnormal mahh..
Cabbie: No lahh.. not adnormal.. Still young lah..
Me: Yeah man.. enjoy myself 1st..

*Fast forward to when i reach my office...*
Cabbie: Thanks arh.. Good luck..
Me: Orr.. (Huh?? What good luck??? Then i realised.. HAHHAHHA.. wat siahz!)

I started tis post 1st thing when i reach my desk.. i'm posting it at 2.07pm... duhhh... i got pulled into biz plan meeting n kana threw a lot of sai... Call me a backup biz planner in future.. Actually the uncle still said a lot lah.. but i forgot.. n keep in mind that the journey was from JE to Jalan Buroh.. Very near only.. He was practically tokking thru'out..

Go n clear my shit liao..